• Mattie Stu

The LEAST and MOST Expensive Things in Star Wars... (Legends)

Why, hello there, galactic citizens! My name's Bobbajo, and I'm guessing you're here to see my wears? I mean, why else would you click on the video, dummy?! Well, since you're already here and what not, we may as well take a look into my oversized backpack, which for one day only is filled with items from the original Star Wars trilogy! Now, for those born yesterday, that's Episodes IV, V and VI – otherwise known as A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Oh I love me some Return of the Jedi – mostly for... the Ewoks, of course! I mean, I really like Ewoks. Really like Ewoks... I REALLY LIKE EWOKS! Uh, that was weird... I'm not quite sure what came over me. It must have been some of the good old gooberfish I had earlier! Anyway, let's get crackin' with the nackin'!

Now, many folk out there seem to think stormtroopers have the most terrible aim in the entire galaxy, to which I say: “You're absolutely right!” They couldn't hit Jabba the Hutt's better half from point blank range, and that's saying something. She's huuuuuggggee! Don't, uh, tell the crime lord I said that though... Anyway, that's probably why the E-11 cost exactly two-thousands credits less than the average laser sword. Yet it's still more expensive than Han Solo's BlasTech DL-44. 750 credits! Jeez, everything about that guy is a piece of junk! And you can tell him that directly!

Moving on, if you want to take a secret trip between Tatooine and Alderaan, that will set you back 17,000 credits. I'd recommend a one way ticket, though. Why? Well, Alderaan is just so beautiful you won't want to leave! Yeah, that's totally the reason. We'll go with that... Hah, suckers!

On a completely unrelated note, firing the Death Star's superlaser will cost you 20 billion credits! As for the Death Star itself – well, that's a measly, uh, trillion credits. I know, I know, it sounds expensive. But how about you go trying to build a planet-destroying battle station for any less. Make sure to get back to me on that, why won't you... Punk!

I'm sorry, where are my manners?! How about I make it up to you, huh? Ah, here we go! Here's one of them T-14 hyperdrive generators, which I'll give to you for, let's just say 20,000 credits? Or what about a Hush-98 comlink – you know, the communicator Qui-Gon Jinn used in The Phantom Menace? Trust me, 4,000 credits ain't bad for what is actually a repainted women's razor! Wait a sec, what are two prequel trilogy items doing in my oversized backpack?! Be gone! And take your foul smells with you!

For these last four items, I'm really going to have to rush. Apparently I overcharged a Wookiee for a traditional bowcaster – and from what I hear, he's back in town and looking a little angrier than usual! Here goes nothing... Bringing someone back for a bounty without a work permit: 245 credits. Paying Boba Fett's daily expenses: 500 credits. The life of the guy that everyone knows actually shot first – no, not Han Solo: 4,100 credits. Finally, if you were wanting to hire the cantina band for when I inevitably marry the gorgeous Ewok Kneesaa, that'll set you back 3,000 credits. It's either that or a lightsaber, I guess. Choose wisely! Oh, dear, I hear Wookiee noises! Well, galactic citizens, it's been fun having you for today's video, but I really need to shoot off here! You know what they say... Bobbajo, gotta go!

Source(s): Star Wars Graphics

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