• Mattie Stu

Every Creature in The Last Jedi | Ranked From Worst to Best

In a galaxy teeming with trillions of lifeforms, each new instalment in the Star Wars saga is expected to introduce even more alien species, the likes of which we've never seen before. As you can probably imagine, the art department for The Last Jedi had to work around the clock to conjure unique creature designs, which they achieved with varying success. From cute little birds bleeding us dry through merchandise sales alone, to an overweight mammal single-handedly keeping one of the greatest Jedi Masters of all time alive through its green milk, The Last Jedi certainly had it all. I'm Matt from Inside Star Wars, and here is every creature in The Last Jedi, ranked from worst to best. Beginning with...

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Number 05. Spetan Channelfish

Ahch-To, a planet largely covered in water, was home to a wide array of aquatic and avian life – some of which, like the large sea creature bobbing up and down in the waves next to the temple island, have yet to be named. Others, i.e. the fish I'm about to cover, were merely added to the background of scenes for world-building purposes. So it's by default that the coppergrin, scalefin fish, needlegawp, fingerlip garpon and twinfin hyacander kick-off today's list. Although it is worth noting that the spetan channelfish, the creature Luke Skywalker captured, killed, and then lugged over his shoulders to his humble abode, filled a slightly larger role than its fishy counterparts.

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Number 04. Thala-Sirens

Cast your mind back to 1977, a time where a little known film called Star Wars was smashing box office records and blowing the minds of movie-goers all across the galaxy. I was going to say globe there, but you don't know aliens weren't illegally streaming the film in their fancy little crafts! Little green guys from the Glub-Glub Nebula! Anyway, back then no one seemed to care that its main protagonist and his aunt and uncle – before they were brutally murdered, of course – drank oddly coloured milk fresh from the teat of a nearby bantha. In fact, this blue liquid became a beloved part of the Star Wars fandom. Fast forward thirty-plus years... and suddenly the same farm boy is milking a hideously large mammal for its green milk. You changed the colour of our beloved milk? How could you, Rian Johnson?! I'm exaggerating here in an effort to make you laugh, hopefully, much in the same way the scene where Luke tugged away at a Thala-siren was designed for comic relief. Unfortunately, the vast majority of fans found it more cringe-worthy than humorous, completely unnecessary to the plot, and a giant waste of practical effects. What's worse, these creatures somewhat resemble myself, after I've ordered my fourth takeaway of the week, and it's only Tuesday. Although I am yet to produce green milk or milk of any colour for that matter... Could that potentially be an unusual and memorable party trick? Sure. Could it also scar said partiers for life? Most definitely!

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Number 03. Fathiers

Like thala-sirens, fathiers rank towards the lower end of today's list due to the overwhelming fan backlash of the scenes in which they were featured. I mean, it's difficult not to feel sorry for these majestic creatures. They were bred specifically for speed and endurance, forced to race by droves of greedy gamblers, shocked and prodded every time their pace dropped below an adequate level, penned in quarters so small they had to remain standing as they slept... The list just goes on and on. And even when Resistance members Finn and Rose Tico set them free, you have to imagine they were immediately recaptured and put back to work, right? But none of the aforementioned hardships can ever win over fans who found the chase through Canto Bight's streets over the top, unfunny, and downright cheesy. On top of all of this, their design felt uninspired and uncreative.

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Number 02. Vulptices

Two words... Crystal. Foxes. As if I even need to elaborate further, vulptices are some of the most intriguing, beautiful, and unusual Star Wars alien designs I've ever seen. It's as if the art department spent a whole day conceptualising the vulptex, realised they still had one more creature in the fathier to design, and quickly cobbled something together so to make it home before rush hour! If this was indeed the case, then placing all of your eggs in one basket might actually be the way to go. Just look at these guys! They're so spiky, yet so cute. And let's not forget A, without them pointing the Resistance to a back entrance of the Rebel base, what was left of the faction would have probably been obliterated by the First Order. And B, the beautiful chiming noise each creature made as they dashed through these very abandoned caverns. I'm not ashamed to admit it, my earbuds were filled with pure joy.

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Number 01. Porgs

Of the 44,224 people who voted in a StarWars.com poll determining the most beloved creature from The Last Jedi, 50% said that Porgs were their favourite, and I tend to agree. Sure, they might be the “Ewoks” of The Last Jedi, in that they were primarily included to boost merchandise sales, but you can't deny their infectious appeal. Adults and children alike were left both in awe and hysterics by these adorable little birds. In fact, many of their comedic moments, certainly in the theatre I was sitting in, hit the mark. For a film well documented for its poor comedic timing and criticised use of humour as a whole, Porgs deserve all the credit they get. I don't think we've seen the last of them either. Toy sales aside, I'm sure one or two are still kicking around the Millennium Falcon, just waiting for their time to shine in The Rise of Skywalker. My only request? We see more Porglets, of course! I wonder if they're available to adopt? Time for a quick Google search...

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And that's our list! Do you agree with today's ranking? Which creature from The Last Jedi would you have placed in the number one spot? Let me know in the comments below!

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